I know it’s February but it’s 2017! What bugs me about this time of year is when people try to change everything about them! How they look, what they eat? But none of that stuff really matters. What does matter is what you think of yourself and how you feel within yourself.
One good thing that comes out of this time of year is standing back, looking in the mirror and asking myself, are you happy? If not then, what’s wrong?
Somethings are easier to fix than others. I have pretty low body confidence so I had been trying to change the way I looked. But when I really thought about it the way I looked wasn’t the problem. I don’t need to look like everyone else because I’m not everyone else. What I really need to do is become more confident in myself.
The way I did my hair, my makeup or the way I dressed could be a part of that but it isn’t the real problem. I need to believe in myself that I am enough. I’m sorry to say it but I need to do one of those crash course in finding yourself because somewhere along the way I seem to have got a bit lost. I don’t need to do anything ridiculously dramatic like go live in the Amazon rainforest for a month. But I do need to look at my life and find out what’s important to be before I mess something up. I want to get back to me where I can just be happy by myself I don’t need other people to do it for me. I’m not trying to push people away I don’t want to isolate myself. I just want the freedom to experiment with a few things to be a typical student and see what it feels like. Maybe I do want to go a little wild, maybe I will just read the book that I have always wanted to read. There is no way of knowing what you like if you don’t try everything.
Once I have found what makes me happy I will hopefully have to confidence to show the world who I really am. This comes with no guarantees, I don’t know how long it will take, I don’t know what I will find but it’s my adventure. It’s something I have to do before I find my place.